The other side

This night had bought thoughts for him. He was thinking what is there in this female that he could tell her all he has been concealing. Why talking to her brings out his inner sorrows. Why he feels so relived after discussing about himself. Why he can’t pretend that he is happy without the love of his life.

Every day he thought he would think what is common between them? What will he talk to her today? But as they start talking, the conversation would flow naturally. He was wondering that is the last few years he has not been able to talk so much. He has just been listening to everyone. Its not that he didn’t try to talk before this. He did. But he didn’t succeed to communicate. He could only listen. But now he was communicating.

He thought that this night he will not call her. He should not be addicted to anything. He was scared. He was scared to be attached again. He was scared to express himself. He was scared to loose. He has already lost a lot in his life. And he didn’t want to risk it again. He decided to stay apart. He laid on the bed with his eyes wide open. He could not sleep.

He was thinking. Thinking hard of his past. Thinking what bought him here. This is certainly not what he thought he would be. He never wanted to be very rich. But he always dreamt of a peaceful life with someone he loved. He could not have imagined the kind of life he is living now. He was not very rich but he was doing well. He had all that a common man could think of for leading a comfortable life. He had friends he could party with. He had people seeking his opinion. He had people admiring him for his accomplishments. The only element missing from his life now was communication. And he was even more scared with the thought that he was communicating with her.

He thought he would talk to her for some time and after listening to him she would find him a boring man and will abandon him. This is how he has been going till now. More pain to kill the previous one. But he couldn’t succeed. Not this time actually.
He felt a serious urge to talk. He decided to call her. Talk for a few minutes and hang up. Not to an extent that he would start taking out his emotions again.

“I was waiting for your call. I had almost slept.”

She whispered.

“Hmm. How are you?”

“Am good. I have been making plans to extend my travel wishlist.”

She giggled.

“Good.”

A brief reply. She knew something was on his mind. By now she had understood him at least this much that she could tell without being judgmental about him.

“What happened?”

“I am wondering why I told you all about myself. I decided not to.”

“Its ok. Me too. But I did that too. I didn’t mean to tell you anything about myself. But I did. Its ok at times to speak your heart.”

“No its not. I don’t do this.”

“Its Ok. I am telling you. All you need to do it empty yourself so that you start filling again.”

She said gently.

“This is what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to fill myself again.”

“But why?”

“Because I cant. I don’t want to.”

She went quite. She has never argued with him till date. She didn’t do it still. He was restless and she could hear that. This was a strange thing for her also. Feeling the pain of someone she has never met.

“And why you don’t want to?”

“I am scared.”

He was as honest as always.

She was glad.

“But what’s scaring you now?”

“You.”

He replied briefly. She was perplexed.

“You don’t have to be scared of me. You should sleep. We will talk about it tomorrow.”

She said with a plain indifferent voice.

“Good Night.”

He couldn’t protest. But he was feeling better that he communicated what he felt.

“Good Night”

He went to his bed. Closed his eyes with a calm mind and fell asleep.

She went to her’s with her eyes wide open. The thoughts have changed their course and medium.